Sunshine:
Diary of An Affair
Eric Simmons is a man
on a mission to pursue his ultimate goal of being inducted to the radio broadcasting
hall of fame. But not all is going as planned. Eric is at a crossroads in life
and questions whether his personal and professional decisions have all been the
wrong ones. As he questions his life, fate brings Tina Cook into Eric's life
and he believes she's the woman he's meant to spend the rest of his life with.
There's just one problem: Tina Cook is married. But she is unhappily married
and seeks comfort in her friendship with Eric. As their friendship grows into
something more, Eric wonders if Tina will leave her husband to build a life
with him. Tina's husband becomes suspicious of their friendship and it causes
Tina and Eric to take their friendship to the shadows in an effort to keep
their budding affair a secret. Eric conspires to win Tina's heart and show her
why leaving her husband is exactly the right thing to do. Tina struggles with
her attraction to Eric and the vow she made to her husband. Tina tries to keep
Eric close to her by trying to set him up with a friend of hers...not to
mention concocting scenarios where it is appropriate and not suspicious to be
seen with Eric. In the meantime, Tina's husband uncovers his wife's feelings
for Eric though he can never confirm she is having an affair. Eric and Tina are
able to stay one step ahead of her husband...but for how long?
EXCERPT:
May 12, 1999
My apartment
8:30pm
Renae had told me to be careful and not get too close to Tina. It’s not that I ignored her advice, I just didn’t listen to it. Tina’s visit to my house last month was not her last. In fact, Tina’s visits are now a regular occurrence, her cover story being that she’s out walking Zeus who is always with her when she stops by. We spend hours together almost every day. It is rare that Tina isn’t at The Club when I’m working or working out. Our conversations have been longer and deeper, our closeness tighter. We talk about life issues, likes and dislikes, life experiences…sometimes our chats are silly, sometimes serious.
Tina has shared many times how off track she and her husband are right now. The light in her eyes always gets dimmer when she talks about him. Tina has said many times she feels lonely in her marriage, as though Doug isn’t attracted to her anymore or that he finds her annoying. She takes his disinterest personally and as a personal failing on her part. Whatever Doug doesn’t like about her anymore must be her fault. I just listen to her, not knowing what to say. I’m sure as hell not a marriage counselor and I’m not qualified to give out any advice on the subject. It just frustrates me to no end that so many great women are married to jerks and I can’t find a woman to date me, let alone marry me.
Regardless, there is a chemistry and an attraction between Tina and me that is never spoken of but it is undeniable. A bond has developed. Our relationship is one of friendship but has the potential to move beyond it but for one thing - she’s married. Not happily so but married. A line is we don’t talk about but we both see it. I don’t know where this friendship/relationship with Tina is going but I want to find out.
These are my thoughts as I lay here in bed on a Friday night. Most night people don’t go to bed alone at 8:30 on a Friday. However, this isn’t a normal Friday night bedtime for this night person. Tomorrow is graduation as I will receive my bachelor’s degree in Business Management from Concordia University in St. Paul. Tomorrow is going to be a big day and I want to make sure I’m well rested.
This is the first time I’ve let my excitement about graduation show in any form. People tell me I should show my excitement more. I’ve always believed you don’t celebrate a victory till you cross the finish line. Tomorrow I cross the finish line. Then I’ll be excited. Then I’ll celebrate. The journey I’ve finished was not without sacrifices. I had quit my full-time job at KBOS so I could attend my night class. Worked two part-time jobs so I could pay the bills, which wasn’t always easy. There were months I didn’t know if I’d have enough money to cover all my bills but I always had just enough.
I turn over and look at my clock radio: 8:45. I should be trying harder to get to sleep but it’s difficult when so many images of the past year and a half are playing in my mind. A deep breath enters and leaves my lungs as I try to push aside all thoughts and drift off to sleep. The doorbell cuts through the silence, telling me sleep isn’t happening yet.
What the hell? Who would ring my doorbell when all the lights are off?
I throw back the covers, roll out of bed dressed in a t-shirt and pair of athletic shorts, and walk to the front door. Before opening the door, I turn on the outside light and see Tina standing there alone, without Zeus. I open the door and say hello. The look on my face
conveys my confusion. Undaunted, Tina asks me, “Would you like to go for a walk?”
“Not tonight,” I decline. “I have to get up early tomorrow to go to St. Paul to attend my college graduation, so I’ll have to pass. But thanks for asking.”
“Okay. Another time then,” Tina says and then departs.
Upon returning to bed I reflect on what had just happened. I sensed a weird vibe coming from Tina. I’ve never seen Tina walking without Zeus and her headset radio. It seemed like Tina had something on her mind and wanted to talk to me. Urgently. Tina’s body language was almost desperate. I have a feeling what she wanted to talk to me about, or at least I had two main possibilities. One of those possibilities is not good. I figured I’d find out soon enough what is on Tina’s mind. That is another thought for another time. Right now it’s time to sleep. Want to be fresh for graduation.
***
My apartment
8:30pm
Renae had told me to be careful and not get too close to Tina. It’s not that I ignored her advice, I just didn’t listen to it. Tina’s visit to my house last month was not her last. In fact, Tina’s visits are now a regular occurrence, her cover story being that she’s out walking Zeus who is always with her when she stops by. We spend hours together almost every day. It is rare that Tina isn’t at The Club when I’m working or working out. Our conversations have been longer and deeper, our closeness tighter. We talk about life issues, likes and dislikes, life experiences…sometimes our chats are silly, sometimes serious.
Tina has shared many times how off track she and her husband are right now. The light in her eyes always gets dimmer when she talks about him. Tina has said many times she feels lonely in her marriage, as though Doug isn’t attracted to her anymore or that he finds her annoying. She takes his disinterest personally and as a personal failing on her part. Whatever Doug doesn’t like about her anymore must be her fault. I just listen to her, not knowing what to say. I’m sure as hell not a marriage counselor and I’m not qualified to give out any advice on the subject. It just frustrates me to no end that so many great women are married to jerks and I can’t find a woman to date me, let alone marry me.
Regardless, there is a chemistry and an attraction between Tina and me that is never spoken of but it is undeniable. A bond has developed. Our relationship is one of friendship but has the potential to move beyond it but for one thing - she’s married. Not happily so but married. A line is we don’t talk about but we both see it. I don’t know where this friendship/relationship with Tina is going but I want to find out.
These are my thoughts as I lay here in bed on a Friday night. Most night people don’t go to bed alone at 8:30 on a Friday. However, this isn’t a normal Friday night bedtime for this night person. Tomorrow is graduation as I will receive my bachelor’s degree in Business Management from Concordia University in St. Paul. Tomorrow is going to be a big day and I want to make sure I’m well rested.
This is the first time I’ve let my excitement about graduation show in any form. People tell me I should show my excitement more. I’ve always believed you don’t celebrate a victory till you cross the finish line. Tomorrow I cross the finish line. Then I’ll be excited. Then I’ll celebrate. The journey I’ve finished was not without sacrifices. I had quit my full-time job at KBOS so I could attend my night class. Worked two part-time jobs so I could pay the bills, which wasn’t always easy. There were months I didn’t know if I’d have enough money to cover all my bills but I always had just enough.
I turn over and look at my clock radio: 8:45. I should be trying harder to get to sleep but it’s difficult when so many images of the past year and a half are playing in my mind. A deep breath enters and leaves my lungs as I try to push aside all thoughts and drift off to sleep. The doorbell cuts through the silence, telling me sleep isn’t happening yet.
What the hell? Who would ring my doorbell when all the lights are off?
I throw back the covers, roll out of bed dressed in a t-shirt and pair of athletic shorts, and walk to the front door. Before opening the door, I turn on the outside light and see Tina standing there alone, without Zeus. I open the door and say hello. The look on my face
conveys my confusion. Undaunted, Tina asks me, “Would you like to go for a walk?”
“Not tonight,” I decline. “I have to get up early tomorrow to go to St. Paul to attend my college graduation, so I’ll have to pass. But thanks for asking.”
“Okay. Another time then,” Tina says and then departs.
Upon returning to bed I reflect on what had just happened. I sensed a weird vibe coming from Tina. I’ve never seen Tina walking without Zeus and her headset radio. It seemed like Tina had something on her mind and wanted to talk to me. Urgently. Tina’s body language was almost desperate. I have a feeling what she wanted to talk to me about, or at least I had two main possibilities. One of those possibilities is not good. I figured I’d find out soon enough what is on Tina’s mind. That is another thought for another time. Right now it’s time to sleep. Want to be fresh for graduation.
***
Saturday.
9am.
I arrive on the Concordia campus an hour before commencement is set to begin, making sure there is no chance I’d be late for the commencement ceremonies. Being this early, there is time to take a quick look at the campus and the field house where the graduation ceremony will be held. I walk away from my Pontiac and begin exploring.
I’d been on the Concordia campus a couple of times but only for one-day seminars that hadn’t allowed for walking around. The buildings are your standard brick and the grounds are immaculate. The thing that strikes me is how small town it feels. Ia good way. The University is in the middle of a neighborhood and feels less like it is in an urban setting. I feel comfortable here. My first stop is the field house. It’s a multi-purpose facility that is primarily set up for indoor track and field events. Today, it’s an auditorium with steel folding chairs set up in the middle for the seating of graduates. Friends and family seating is in the bleachers that run almost the length of both sides of the building. As I meander about the field house I bump into a Concordia staffer who I had spoken with numerous times over the past 18 months but had never met. Upon seeing her Concordia name tag, I thrust my hand at her and said, “Hi, Jeannette, I’m Eric Simmons.”
Jeannette’s face lights up. “My champion test taker! Now I can put a face to the nickname!” she exclaims as she takes my hand in hers and gives it a vigorous shake.
Champion test taker. Funny.
I had left Riverbend before getting my two-year degree because KBOS wanted me full-time. I jumped at the chance. Before I could enter Concordia’s bachelor program, I needed a lot of credits to first qualify for and then graduate from the program. Enter CLEP. College Level Examination Program. CLEP tests allow people like me to take a test and receive college credit. I took CLEP tests a year before entering Concordia, choosing subjects that were in strong areas of mine – American history, world history, government, psychology, sociology – were taken first.
To prepare for each subject area I would go to the Riverbend bookstore and find the appropriate textbook, read it, and then review the chapter summaries. The process took about a month and then I’d take the test. One exam every month. No matter where I went, I had a textbook with me. About nine months after starting at Concordia, I called the registrar’s office to inquire about my elective credits. I wanted to make sure there were no surprises and that I was on track for completion. In speaking with Jeanette she informed me I had a nickname around the office.
“I have a nickname?” I ask with confusion. How could I have a nickname from people I’ve never met?
“We call you the Champion Test Taker,” Jeannette informs me. Just as we get one exam entered into our system, here comes another one to be graded. Now on graduation day, we finally meet face to face. Jeannette is genuinely happy to meet me face to face and for my achievement. She reminds me of an aunt who always smiles wide when she sees you and pinches your cheeks for emphasis. At least in this instance, my cheeks stay pinch free. Jeannette congratulates me on my graduation and moves on as another staffer pulls her away.
I continue on and find the check-in table to find my packet where I will pick up and put on my gown. It’s black with a yellow tassel on the mortar board. I see some of my classmates who I’ve spent the last 18 months with. Smiles, hugs, and congratulations are exchanged. At quarter to 11 my fellow graduates and I are dressed in our gowns and are lined up. As I look through the crowd of my fellow graduates, I feel old. I’m graduating with people who are ten years younger than me. Did I look that young when I was their age? I scan the field house and see a capacity crowd. There is as much excitement among the spectators as there is here on the floor. Don’t know why I bother looking over the crowd. There is no one here to be excited for me. At 11 the festivities begin and we march into place and then take our seats where we’re directed. There are hundreds of us seated.
I hope this isn’t going to take very long.
I look over the commencement program. Seems like they’re intent on getting through this in a speedy manner. There’s all the staging and splendor that you’d expect along with the pageantry. Don’t ask me who the key note speaker is. His words are forgotten as quickly as he utters them. Mercifully, the awarding of degrees begins at 11:25. I get comfy because with a name that starts with the letter “s” it’s going to be a bit before they get to me. As each name is called, there is a celebratory graduate and the sound of cheers and whistles from family, friends, classmates. I almost dread my name being called. I know what’s coming.
My name is called for me to accept my degree twenty-three minutes later. Dead silence in the field house. Even the frickin’ crickets hold their chirping. As I have gone through life it seems any accomplishment, any “big day” of mine is ignored. Still, this is my day, damn it. I had earned this day. Earned the diploma the president of the University is handing me, shaking my hand simultaneously. All the work I had done summed up in the handshake. I had crossed the finish line. Done. And nobody gives a damn.
The commencement ceremonies end at noon. My fellow graduates and I exit the building out the side door. We are greeted by an overcast day. When I’m far enough from the building to leave room for those in attendance to come join us, I turn around to watch them come out. People pour out of the field house and the search for their graduate begins. Graduate after graduate is approached by smiling people with arms open wide. I see this happen again and again and again. Everyone has someone to hug but me. I celebrate alone in the crowd and then walk over to the table where caps and gowns are to be turned in. Graduation garments are removed and carefully set down on the table. I check my watch. Ten minutes past noon. Screw it, I’m going home.
