Why did you write Sectors? How did Sectors come to you?
I wrote Sectors because I couldn’t NOT write it! The idea and story for Sectors came to me as ideas and visuals of what would later became the story, but initially it was just bits and pieces of moving pictures. The scenes often corresponded to music, to certain songs that I enjoyed very much. So, each time I heard the song, I saw the scene in my mind. I know that sounds strange, but that’s exactly what was happening in my head. The movie-like images moved to the music and played out along those lines, like fragmented out of place daydreams that I was not a part of. Soon after, those scenes I stored in my head starting popping up whenever I was daydreaming. As time went on, it only got worse, as they began to appear when I was walking along or sitting on the subway headed to wherever. The story scenes would begin anytime, in between those moments where my thoughts were not specifically directed on something. Honestly, it started to get annoying!
The biggest turning point that moved me to get on with the writing of Sectors was during a discussion. I was explaining to someone that I wanted to write a novel. We talked about how the ideas keep bouncing around in my brain. This person explained to me if I don’t write the book, the universe will get someone else to do it. I didn’t want to happen. It was mine. I couldn’t sit idly by and “allow” the universe to “steal” my story and gift it to another!
It all sounds a bit bizarre in retrospect, but that’s how it happened.
The annoying repeating of those scenes became the framework for the story’s outline. That raw outline ultimately became Sectors.
The biggest turning point that moved me to get on with the writing of Sectors was during a discussion. I was explaining to someone that I wanted to write a novel. We talked about how the ideas keep bouncing around in my brain. This person explained to me if I don’t write the book, the universe will get someone else to do it. I didn’t want to happen. It was mine. I couldn’t sit idly by and “allow” the universe to “steal” my story and gift it to another!
It all sounds a bit bizarre in retrospect, but that’s how it happened.
The annoying repeating of those scenes became the framework for the story’s outline. That raw outline ultimately became Sectors.
What’s the best thing about being an author and/or the worst?
The best thing about being an author is seeing my ideas and thoughts fleshed out in a coherent way. I believe artists (authors are artist imo) are all trying to communicate something to the world. Be it love, frustration, fears, etc., artist are looking to share a part of themselves with others. We are trying to convey something important to us, trying to connect to others in a deep way. With a book, a detailed list of my thoughts and feels, I can do that in a way I can’t through conversation alone.
To finally have my artwork finished after years of work is such a wonderful feeling. On top of that, the scenes are gone from my mind! They are now embedded in the black and white of print and the digital text of computer screens. They are in the hands of those that will enjoy those reading those ideas and take pleasure in visualizing those scenes.
The moment the rough draft was completed, the incessant repeating of those images disappeared. It’s as if a shackle was broken and I was finally free to move on.
The worst thing about being an author is the fear that people won’t get it, so to speak. I fear the idea that no one will understand what I’m trying to say and I’ve failed in conveying those thoughts in a way that others can relate to. I want people to read it so much, enjoy what I enjoy so much, I sometimes feel like I’m sinking into desperation. Desperation is a terrible emotion that I don’t want to fall into as it often leads to people devaluing themselves. I want people to get the book and understand what I’m trying to share with them, but not at the expense Harule Stokes.
I want success (measured not by the number of sales I make, but the number people I reach, touch and connect to), but not at cost of my self-respect. Ultimately, there is not success if you lose yourself to achieve it.
Being an author is wonderful and scary. I’m just trying to learn to get use to the idea that I am becoming something I’ve always wanted to be… an artist.
Was it a dream to become an author or did it just happen?
Initially, I wanted to be an architect, until I found out that architects are more mathematician than artist. Unless you are at the upper echelon of architectural designers, you’re given the task of making someone else’s ideas reality. You’re not the creator of the work if the idea belongs to someone else.
Dropping that goal, I moved to wanting to be a comic book artist. Chasing that dream, I learned that most comic book artist have very little hand in the script (unless you’re well known). Again, you are not the creator, some else is. Also, drawing felt like such a tedious endeavor to me. Sure I enjoyed the final product, but the act of storytelling through images was not something I enjoyed.
Then it happened. Something clicked in my mind and it all began to make sense. Write the script yourself! Better yet, write the story outright. After years of self-doubt and fear of not being capable of writing a novel due to not having a degree to validate me in that field, I went for it despite what I thought was a huge hindrance.
Believe it or not, but Sectors was not the first manuscript I wrote. The first was a story called The Force. It was about a woman given psychic and psionic powers through drug therapy. Now at the end of her life, she was passing the torch to a young woman who was abused but overcame her past. The story was told through the young woman’s travel with the older woman and the older woman telling the young woman her life and how she achieved this power. It was an utter failure. It never came together for me. I was terribly frustrated with what I was producing, and began to feel the tug of defeat. I wanted to drop my dream by the wayside. That’s the main reason it took me so long to write Sectors. I thought I couldn’t pull it off. I thought I wasn’t good enough. I’m so thankful I have such a great family and fantastically supportive friends. It was they who encouraged me to - Just Do It.
The path to my being an author didn’t just happen and it wasn’t specifically my dream, but now I’m very happy with my direction in life. I am at the point of having a finished novel and achieving a budding writing career. I feel blessed!
I’m so very happy to have found this outlet for my voice. I don’t know if I could have maintain my sanity without it, working day in and day out in an office with no way to express my creativity. I think would have exploded by now! LOL! Sectors saved me.
